My Most Favorite Spot in Beijing, China

    Finally got through all those preparation work for my new job this week.. Actually I felt bad about me hating my new job, considering I haven’t even started it yet. So I decided to take myself out for a short-yet-magnificent trip today:BeiHaiPark–My Most Favorite Spot inBeijing.

    If you ever been to Beijing, you probably already know all the places foreigners love so much – Sanlitun, Houhai, Liduo or Xiushui. You can grab a beer and have a wonderful afternoon with your friends at all these places. But, every now and then, you might also want to stay away from alcohol, work, skyscrapers, or even those chinese ladies who like foreigners so much that they can literally be glued to your coat.. BeiHai is the place you would LOVE to go.

    For those who likes to know a full introduction of BeihaiParkand its glamorous history, pls. check http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beihai_Park . But to normal people, here’s all you need to know:

    BeihaiParkis one of the largest imperial parks inBeijing. Located within the second ring ofBeijingcity area makes it lot easier to get to, compared with theSummerPalaceor other royal parks situated in or on the mountains… If you want to enjoy somewhere green and refreshing inBeijing, but are too lazy to get your ass on a car driving at least for 1 hour to get to a decent park, then Beihai is your best option. There are basically three parts in here, the general area, the White Dagoba tower, and the Circular Wall. For the general area, ticket is RMB 10 (around $1.6), and a discount price of RMB 5 for students (They even accept student cards for exchange students and those in grads school!). With an extra visit to the White Dagoba tower and the Circular Wall, ticket is RMB 20, and RMB 15 for student. The joint ticket is highly recommended coz it’s SO cost efficient. Forgive me for being too “accounting” at this point, but RMB 5 more could give you the best spot ofBeijingcity: once you get on the top of the White Dagoba tower, it would definitely catch your eye for the views of Forbidden City, Tiananmen Square and even ZhongNan Hai (The military and political centre ofChina)! Ha! Who doesn’t want that!

    Alright, I think I’m done with all those talking. Let me show you some of the photos I took today. Considering I don’t have a first class professional camera (According to my research, which is positively related to the quality of photos taken..), hope they dont turn you down. 🙂

An overview of Beijing City, sorry that its been so foggy today.

Shhhh, it really is part of Zhong Nan Hai, the only part which is visible to civilian.

The White Dagoba tower.

Hey! An accidental Chinese hippy! Haha! But secretly, I think his bag rocks.

 

 

(Adding photos to this blog can be really exhausting! Hoo…)

SEX

This blog is a supplement to previous blog “Chinese Love Life”. Check out more information at https://watchingthechinese.wordpress.com/2011/08/07/chinese-love-life/

 

    Firstly, I really do wanna slap myself of being such an idiot: How could I possibly forget this very special ingredient of the “Love Life”—SEX!!

    OK. As a well known fact that Chinese people are very conservative, so basically there’s no need to explain why Chinese are also VERY conservative when we come across “sex”. Even the last generation (ie. People born in 1970s) consider “SEX” forbidden before legal marriage. “Virgin” seemed to be much more important and glorious than being a good wife and a good mother. At that time, people didn’t talk about sex in public and (I guess its probable that) they might not even talk about sex with their partners. For some reason, society had considered sex was something everybody should be ashamed of. You could do it privately but you were not supposed to say it out loud, much less you should enjoy it. The direct consequence of this awkward way of considering sex as nothing but a “baby machine”, is that kids usually have absolutely NOOOOO idea where they come from…

    When I was between 6 and 8, curiosity drove me to ask my dad this question which everybody else must had a same experience.

    Me: “Daddy Daddy, where do babies come from?”

    After staring at me for a very long time that it felt like a century, he finally said, emotionlessly: “Go away.”

(This is actually a very good example of the Social Awkward Code. Chinese often find a way to ignore or pretend to overlook a very awkward question/situation to avoid the embarrassment. I know I know, it’s ineffective and totally childish. But in our defense, we do it for our benefit: To erase the uncomfortable feelings which is eating us up during the ice cold silence… Hahaha, maybe a little bit exaggeration here, but doesn’t make it less true.)

    But I might have told you so many times that things have changed a lot in the past decade. Youth now know pretty damn well about sex. In fact we know more about safe sex than our parents. When two people at their twenties, they both know they should be responsible for their behavior. So enjoy the pleasure brought by a spectacular sex or stay virgin (which is still the symbol of purity) are all available options. But the decision is very hard to made since moral standards is changing every time in everyone’s heart. Some couples may have sex after 3 or 5 dates, while others may keep away with it until one year later, or even after marriage.

    But the truth is, there are “limitations” on sex even in my generation. For example, usually when good boy had sex with a good girl that means the boy should be responsible for the girl; we never talk about sex with our parents, in fact even if our parents ask “Are you still a virgin?” (which normally wont happen in chinese family, coz our parents automatically think we don’t have any sex life.) we nod our heads and assure them their baby daughter are still pure white as the wedding dress.

    Well, as the next generation is getting more and more crazy. I bet they would come up with some brand new ideas about this topic. Maybe in their twenties they can be 100% honest with their parents and the society that they have sex and the sex feels pretty good. So, I say, lets see. Ha.

Chinese Love Life

    Yesterday is the lunar date of Chinese valentine’s day. Girls have been expecting the gifts from boyfriends since weeks ago. Rose-selling people started marching up along the street at the lunch time. Word on the TV said thousands of couples getting married yesterday. Being single made me the only person who hung around on the Internet, wondering when is the so called Mr.Right gonna arrive on his pure white horse back.. Nahhh..Lets just talk about something not-so-dreadful. Hmmmm. How about Chinese Love Life?

     Generally speaking, LOVE is pretty much the same in all countries. But the way of people meeting their love and the way people expressing their love are quite different. Being Chinese makes us pretty shy at expressing our undying love fire to other people. Although as the world is becoming “flatter and flatter”, the new generation is having some fun at their love life/affair. One night stands, cheatings, twisted relationships, etc. Amazingly, Chinese really catch up with the international level. But what I want to tell you is a more traditional process of “Falling in love with a good girl/boy”.

Date:

    Usually, Chinese don’t start dating until the two know each other very well. For example, being classmates for years or he’s-a-friend-of-my-best-friend. Until recent years, “Dating” was still considered to be events happen during relationships. Once you start dating, that usually means you are about to be in a relationship soon. I think it shows a sign of responsibility, at least avoids the awkwardness of “Lets not meet each other any more” after an undesirable first-date. You don’t fool around and date several persons at the same time even before you get involved in a relationship. Dating several persons at the same time is considered cheating, even for now.

    And another thing is about age. Teenagers are not allowed to be in a relationship or dating or having anything to do with the opposite sex before colleage. The wild teenagers are often called to the principle office together with their mums. They may even get suspended from school for holding hands with a young man. All you should do at this age is studying.(See more in previous blog: Education)

Relationship:

    Ok, nail down the first date and several dates after that. You are good to go to the relationship. I’m not quite sure about this part. Coz from what I’ve heard and what I’ve been through, this is what usually happens: After several dates, the two are feeling quite comfortable being with each other, feeling warm when thinking of him/her, with no further difficulties in sight (ie. Long distance, religious problem, difficulties related to money and income.), well, basically you are in a relationship. What matters is give a title to the two people and that’s it.

    But what is the difference between a date and a relationship? If the “commitment” is the answer, then I don’t think I see it on chinese people.(Maybe it rarely exists.) I mean, most chinese wont draw a line of commitment and discuss it with the partners. Then some of chinese may not even know what is commitment, coz when something going wrong, they believe a simple word “sorry” could solve all the problems. Abortions are really common nowadays (although the promotion of one child policy partly contribute to it), and people can even get married with only aiming of reproduction. I think that’s one thing we chinese still have to learn in our love life.

    Anyways. The rest of the story goes very similar to your story. Getting married, have kids, live happily ever after(will it?).

Marriage:

    Marriage is a big part of everyone’s life. If a woman at her 20s still have no sign of having a boyfriend, the parents and grandparents would be really asking about the same question every chance you see them: “When do you give us some grand children?” or should I just type in “Child”. And with the old tradition of bringing more kids means bringing more prosperity into the family, so almost every couple is having a baby or two(If the couple are able to pay the fine of the second child). And divorce rate inChina(0.79 per 1,000 people 2004) is way below the international average(1.3 per 1,000 people), which shows the commitment do exist in the marriage. Parents are normally very responsible for their child. Being collectivism makes parents forget about their individual benefit and think more for the Big Family. Take my parents for example, they have lived for 24 years. When I was a child, they used to fight a lot. But amazingly, after enduring for twenty more years they are getting along with each other better and better! Although one must say their love has become family-love already, but I still think its good.

    Its Love after all.